If your custody order does not specify anything about Thanksgiving or Christmas, you will have to negotiate the holidays each year. When the holiday terms are not specified, parents end up arguing about the exchange times the week before Thanksgiving and the children experience every minute of it.

North Carolina Has No Default Holiday Schedule

Nothing in the General Statutes states that one parent gets Thanksgiving every year. Instead, G.S. 50-13.2 instructs the court to award custody and set visitation terms in a way that best promotes the child’s interests and welfare. Neither parent has a presumption of favor. The judge also must consider any domestic violence or the child’s safety before explaining the decision in writing.

That flexibility cuts both ways. If you and the other parent can’t agree, a judge who has never sat at your dinner table will decide.

Common Ways Parents Split Thanksgiving and Christmas

Most North Carolina parenting arrangements use one of several common structures, sometimes combined.

• One parent has Thanksgiving on even-numbered years, and the other on odd-numbered. It’s easy to remember and enforce.
• Parents alternate days, with one staying at home in the morning and the other at dinner time. This works best when parents live nearby.
• Christmas Eve and Christmas are split between parents, with each getting one day each year.
• Winter break is divided in half, with a specific date and time set for the exchange. Don’t wait until around New Year’s.
• Holidays are paired, so whoever had Thanksgiving gives up Christmas that year (great for parents who want a big holiday break).

Whatever you choose, the holiday schedule should override the regular weekly schedule. If you don’t include that sentence, parents will argue about who controls it.

Why the 2026 Calendar Deserves a Second Look

Thanks to Thanksgiving falling on November 26 this year, Christmas Day will land on a Friday. With an alternating-weekend schedule, a Christmas on a Friday can collide with another parent’s weekend. Please read your order now, rather than on December 23.

Also, check the details of most holiday disputes:

• Exact pickup and drop-off times and locations
• Whether the order allows travel outside the state, which G.S. 50-13.2 allows a court to address directly
• Phone and video calls on the holiday itself

On that last point, the statute allows electronic communication to supplement visitation, but never replace it. A Christmas morning video call does not count as holiday time.

Mediation Comes First in Contested Cases

When parents disagree about custody, G.S. 50-13.1 refers disputes to the court’s mediation program, before or along with setting a hearing. The court may waive mediation for valid reasons, including allegations of domestic violence, child abuse, or substance abuse.

If you reach an agreement, the mediator will put it in writing. According to the North Carolina Judicial Branch, a parenting agreement becomes a court order once a judge has signed it, and a parent who breaks this can be held in contempt. However, timing matters. Orientation is usually scheduled within 30 days of referral, so disputes raised in late November may not be resolved by Christmas.

Changing a Holiday Schedule That No Longer Works

Children grow up. Parents move. A Thanksgiving split-day may fall apart after one parent relocates. Under G.S. 50-13.7, custody orders can be modified based on a showing of changed circumstances. The courts look for a significant change that affects the child’s well-being, and any new arrangement must continue to serve the child’s best interests.

A text message agreeing to swap holidays is not a modification. If the swap becomes permanent, get it into a court order.

Get Your Holiday Schedule in Writing Before the Season Starts

Thanks to Thanksgiving being seven weeks away, if your orders are vague, the other parent will not follow them, or you will have no orders at all. The Law Office of Stephen E. Robertson PLLC can review your orders, identify the gaps causing holiday conflict, and work towards a fair schedule through mediation, or, when cooperation fails, in court. Contact us today to give your children a holiday season free from tug-of-wars.